Killer Cat Terrorizes Blogger

Take a good look at this beast.  If you see this creature walking around  loose, approach him with extreme caution.   Better yet, inform the local police and avoid this mad killer, if at all possible.  Sure, I can hear what you’re saying– he looks like a sweet, harmless little kitty, probably named Fluffy or Snowball or  something.  But I can tell  you that he is a complete psychopath.  He likes to lay in wait for his next victim  and then spring out of hiding and  attack!!!  He also likes to wait under your desk until you are sitting at your  computer, and then he sneaks up on you  and bites you on your bare feet.  Of course, if you wear shoes all of the time,  this will stop him.  However, since he  also likes to bite the  occasional toe that sticks out from under the covers at night, this wearing shoes idea might  not be the final solution, especially if you don’t sleep by yourself — or if you don’t sleep by yourself,  yet, because you will if you wear shoes to bed.

It doesn’t matter because this horrible little creature will probably laugh his evil cat laugh “MEEE-HAAA HAAA HAAA,” and attack you some  more.  I researched this on the Internet  and the consensus seems to be that the poor animal is suffering from neglect  and just needs more attention from his master.  Fur balls!!  This is  two-for-a-nickel cat psychology that will only end with you covered in scars  from head to foot.

The only way to end this madness is to give the cat the  house or apartment you live in and go live under a bridge somewhere.   Trust me, you will thank me later.  Sleeping under a nice dry bridge has got to  be better than sleeping in shoes or — ouch!! — sleeping next to someone who does. Run for your life!!!

4 thoughts on “Killer Cat Terrorizes Blogger

  1. melissa says:

    ha!! I had a cat like that, years ago. Now I just have three lazy (and occasionally gassy) greyhounds….

  2. Theresa says:

    perhaps that cat just needs tabasco put on your toe….oh wait is that wrong?

  3. Alex Burch says:

    My precious duckford has turned into a killer beast?? Where did I go wrong as a mother?

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