Kids, don’t try this at home. The prescription drug Ambien has been a cause for concern for people for some time now. People have reported having hallucinations and other side effects. Abien is normally prescribed as a sleeping pill, usually just to help people who have trouble falling asleep. As far as I know, this is why my doctor prescribed it for me. However, Wikipedia, the Internet research tool for people who don’t care if stuff is true or not, says it can be used to treat “some brain disorders,” so maybe there is something they are not telling me.
Be that as it may, this summer I had an Ambien adventure of my own. I was traveling from Nebraska to Virginia, and I stopped for the night in Breezewood, PA, a town that is famous as an entrance and exit on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and nothing else. There’s also a Dunkin’ Donut shop there.
You probably don’t know this, but the town in Nebraska where I used to live did not have even one donut shop for years. They had a DD, but it burned down and was never rebuilt. And nothing else has been able to take hold there. One of those Crispy Creme places tried for awhile but ended up closing down. Now I ask you: what kind of town is it that can’t support one lousey donut shop?
So there I was – in a motel across the street from a Dunkin’ Donuts, which seriously has to be the best donut in the entire world, and I did not give into temptation but took my medicine and went to bed.
That night I dreamed I got into my car and drove across the street and bought a half dozen cake donuts, three of them chocolate covered and three of them plain. Then, in the dream, I drove back to the motel and proceeded to devour all six of them. It was a great dream.
The next morning I awoke to find an empty Dunkin Donuts box on the bedside table. In my Abien aided sleep, I had actually gone out to my car, driven over to the DD, purchased my donuts, driven my car back to the motel, and eaten them. While I was asleep! I’m going to have to assume I got dressed and undressed before and after this shopping trip becaue I don’t remember getting arrested for driving in my underwear. So, kids, this cautionary tale comes with a moral: Drugs are bad, just say no, and never eat donuts in your sleep.